Single Player Only

I should not be posting to my blog right now. I have work to do, but thats not what I should be doing either. I should be playing the Halo 3 Multiplayer Beta right now. Bullshit on Xbox Live technical difficulties that left the bulk of the beta testers with their rifles in their hands. I should be man-cannoning my way through Valhalla instead of typing this.

5 minutes remaining

-Jared

1080p Rumble Pit

I'm getting the most out of this monitor. Last night I purchase the vga cables for the xbox 360. Now I can play in 1080p widescreen in perfect time for the Halo 3 beta to start. I can't fucking wait. Its lights out after wednesday, my girlfriend, friends and family will hate me. Too bad I now have to get a new set of speakers because I need something with computer and composite hookups. So if anyone is looking for new speakers I have a brand new logitech set that I'll sell for cheap.

5 Minutes Remaining

-Jared

Five Dollars

To the man that brings me the head of Alfredo Garcia. No just kidding, I don't need anyone killed at the moment. What I do need is someone sitting at my house waiting for DHL to deliver my new monitor. I made the mistake of not having it shipped to my work address. I think about why I didn't and I can't give myself an answer. Probably a numb reaction to buying something so expensive.

UPDATE: my brand new baby was signed for, so no slip on my door telling me I have to drive 30min to pick the fucker up. I can't wait to get home and throw some ropes all over it.

{contains no errors}

-Jared

Oh Baby No!

Its not only time to go wide, its time to go big. This little bundle of gorgeous is my newly purchased 24" monitor. This 24" box of glowing pixels was something I couldn't pass up. It has multiple hookups so i'm going to run this dvi from my pc and component from my xbox360. I can't fuckin wait.

DANGER DANGER

-Jared

Killtacular

Woo, ehhh, ok, hold, let me catch my breath. After a long night and early morning of drinking beer I dragged my ass home and went to sleep. Later in the day I decided dust off Halo 2 and start playing online again. After getting my ass handed to me a few games I started dual wielding like I used to. I should be wary though, because according to ass-clown Jack Thompson playing a game like Halo means that sometime in the future I'm going to go on a killing spree because I've been trained to do so. Just like those that play Madden football video games get drafted by the NFL all the time (paraphrased analogy from Mr. Massey).

For all of you trained killers out there. The picture above is what happens when you date me, work in a vet clinic and get bit by a cat. KAPOW!


Plasma pistol + sub-machine gun = sexy time!

-Jared

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. W.T.F.

Maybe I'm not a hardcore PC gamer. I don't want to spend an entire day accomplishing one thing. I want to get my fix then go about my fleshy existence. Since the conception of my new computer I've decided to buy the latest shooter game and stretch my PC's legs .

I picked up S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl.
(My non-professional opinion)
Its cool I guess but I think meant for the hardcore computer folks that love nothing more than sitting in front of the screen for days at a time drinking coke and eating hot pockets. The shooting though realistic gives the player the feeling that they have zero experience shooting a gun. Maybe I suck, but because of this I die a lot. I find the story very broken and the non-linear path is very hard to stay on. The mutant dogs and walking honey-glazed hams are cool but wouldn't there be a larger catalogue of mutants out there, other then some dogs, pigs and walking hams?. Crows are always flying over head yet there are no mutant birds. I am only like eight hours into it and feel like I've done a lot of walking and have eaten a lot of salami sticks. The game is cool, its not perfect and I don't know if it will keep my interest for much longer but if you like hot pockets and walking holiday meats then this might be right up your alley.

Zombie Score: [x][x][x][ ][ ]

I <3 acronyms

-Jared

Monster Box

Here she is, Gertrude the Destroyer. This is my new home computer. I love this thing so much right now. Sometimes when its really late and I get scared of the dark I curl up next to it and gaze into its blue light. It's quiet magical.

HERE is the link to my flickr photostream with more pics.

I want to start killin!

-Jared

Up and Running

Hello,

I'm proud to say this is the first post from my brand new bad, motha-fuckin, throat-rippin, kick-ass computer. With the help from the other Jared we got it assembled and working in about four hours. It's so quiet, black and faster than hell. I can't wait to log numerous hours on her at a time.

1/2 cup vinegar, drop in color tablet

-Jared

Not A GTAIV Post

Another week to the record books. The last week for gluttony. I've made the healthy decision to get back on the horse starting Monday. No not the white horse, just that horse that gallops on the path of will power. Its time to shed some lbs and get back to my jockey weight. No more snacks at the office and no more late night fast food dinners.

Of course there will be rewards on this path. I haven't figured out what they will be but I'm sure they will have something to do with video games, strippers or glue sniffing. I guess I need to figure all this out by monday. I'm also thinking about conducting my Celebrity Fit Club before and after animation and I think to keep me on track I will periodically post it to the blog, maybe.

Pork-chop sandwiches

-Jared

IV has arrived

So the countdown to the Grand Theft Auto 4 trailer has reached zero. After the servers stood back up from being punched in the face, I was finally able to view it. I gotta tell you, it blew the fucking doors off of anything out there. The level of detail and style Rockstar is known for is apparent in this.

HERE is the link to the trailer

Platypus

-Jared

Cool GTA4 Article

Ok, I know a lot of my friends are not into video games the way that I am. If you are one of my friends you know I am a complete Grand Theft Auto fanatic. If it is something I'm excited about then I'll be sticking a nice big, shiny, red thumb-tack through it and sticking it on my blog. So expect to see a lot of posts about GTA4 or any other Rockstar Games release.

HERE is kinda cool article from 1up.com about GTA4 and what direction other developers think it should go.

Wasted!

-Jared

It's Almost Here

The debut of the Grand Theft Auto IV trailer is only a couple of days away. This screen cap of the counter was taken about 30 minutes ago so around 3pm Pacific time on Thursday it should be available for viewing, if I've done the math right.

Insane Jump Bonus

-Jared

Butter, Garlic and The Blades of Chaos

As of last night I can no longer say I'm an oyster virgin. Yeah that's right, I tried barbecued oysters for the first time. I know, 25 years old is such a long time to wait but it was bound to happen sooner or later. The stars aligned, the mood was right and covered in butter and garlic.

Honestly though, I wasn't that big into them, they were OK. I can't see myself having a craving for them any time soon. It was missing tapatio which is supposed to set them off, so maybe that's what I needed.

Chew twice and swallow

-Jared

oh oh oh, God of War 2 fucking rawks go get it now and play it all day

It Has Begun

The official Grand Theft Auto IV website has been updated with a large IV and a counter counting down to the first trailer,, ooh ooh ooh i can't wait. My favorite game franchise is finally showing its skin in the next generation. Below is the link to the official website

GTA IV

suck it easy swashbucklers

-Jared

Yay Manhunt 2 Announced

I being someone that loves a good violent videogame just read the news that Manhunt 2 will be out for the PS2, PSP and Wii this summer. I can't wait, the original manhunt was one of the most simplistic yet extremely engaging video game experiences I have ever had. Hopefully I can get through some of the other games I haven't finished before this comes out.

Announcement from Take 2 Games: here.

::updated 02.07.07::
official Manhunt 2 website from Rockstar Games: here

High-res trailer at IGN.com: here

Cloak & Dagger

HOW,

Yesterday while the girlfriend and I were out shopping I decided to stop by a very crappy local game-exchange. I was in search of a Castlevania game for the GBA and no other retailer in my city had shit. This game-exchange is really my last resort, the selection usually does donkey shows. I walk in and holy fuck, out of the 10 used and dusty GBA games they had, there it was. I immediatley purchased it and headed home.

On my way I noticed the label on the cartridge looked bootlegged. The ESRB logo was out of proportion, the image pixelated and the name unreadable. Obviously it wasn't the original and it made me wonder what was wrong with it. Possibly the cartridge could have held government secrets or even the cure for cancer. It turned out though that there were no secrets or any cures,, the game must have gotten wet or something and the previous owner tried to create a new label in the hopes of scoring three dollars of store credit. The game hardly worked and when it did, it wouldn't let me save, and behaved very buggy. 0-5 and sadly I gave up the search, I took the game back, got my money and called it a day. What was dull then exciting was dull once more.

I thought atleast I could go home and watched the Chargers beat New England, but for the sixth time that day I was disappointed. No Eagles, No Chargers :( GO CHICAGO!! and thank Jesus the Seahawks lost :)